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I have trained my body for years. I think I have an above average fitness level. Why then did I struggle so much with mental health issues?
Being in the army, I always prided myself on being in the top third when it came to fitness. Whether in a cross country run, boxing or weight training I always pushed to the top. This was despite being a big build which should have hindered low bodyweight to strength activities such as running or climbing.
Most recently I have commenced CrossFit training with the same enthusiasm. I have lost a lot of weight and made incredible strength gains. I love it. But I do wonder whether I’m obsessive about it. I also wonder whether I do it as it helps me stay on the straight and narrow.
You see I am all or nothing. I’ll eat carefully, train hard and not drink alcohol. Or I’ll do the complete opposite. It’s the same in love, at work and anything else I do. No taking it easy for me.
When your mind has taken a battering over the years, it’s best to be gentle with it rather than destroy it with booze. That’s why I train hard. So that I don’t feel like losing all my gains and feeling like crap for a week. I’d rather keep going but do know that an occasional blow-out is necessary.
That’s why I accept it as an occupational hazard, something I do the minimum amount of times possible. That way I keep my mind strong which allows me to face any of life’s problems with a positive perspective.
It’s quite clear that we all have a multitude of problems which we face on a daily basis. It’s part of life. But it’s also how we deal with them which defines us. I prided myself on my ability to face any problem with a calm demeanour from combat situations to demanding bosses. But I couldn’t transfer that ability to my personal life. It lead me to lose my family. Something which has devastated everyone involved and which I don’t know whether I can recover from.
That’s why I had to spend six months trying to understand why I was the way that I was. How I could use physical training to benefit my mental health and how I could mitigate the mistakes I’ve made.
It’s the most difficult process I’ve ever conducted but I hope I can recover what has been lost.
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Source by Laurence Moore
